Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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