I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
