Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
only if we run a train.
done.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
