YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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