my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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