Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
