I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
