...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize