She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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