I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Randomize
