How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize