Whoa Z and x make the same sound
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
