I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize