woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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