Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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