Is it because I queefed?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
