i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
fuck your aforementioned shoe
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
