your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
