Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
