Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
