Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
