She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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