haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
