if you like me you must not know who I am
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
