he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
