Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So vagazzling was a success
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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