and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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