He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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