So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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