The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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