ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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