Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
