They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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