i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
