You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
