i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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