fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize