i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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