I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
