He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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