apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
