you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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