we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
