Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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