hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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