I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
