Taylor Swift is so right about you.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
