Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
