we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
