Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
