ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come share oat with me in your robe
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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