God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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