Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
