I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
