Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
