She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
