So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
